Why It's Okay to Repeat Yourself in Therapy
Ever catch yourself in therapy retelling the same story about that frustrating coworker, a childhood memory, or a recurring worry, using the same words or phrases? You might think, “Ugh, I’m boring my therapist!” But here’s the truth: repeating yourself in therapy isn’t just okay—it’s a powerful part of the process. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, saw verbal repetition as a key to unlocking your inner world. Let’s explore why saying the same thing again in therapy is something to embrace, not avoid.
Repetition: A Window to the Unconscious
Freud believed that what you say in therapy isn’t just random chatter—it’s a stage where your unconscious mind speaks. In his 1914 paper, he described how patients often repeat stories, phrases, or thoughts verbally instead of just recalling past events once (Freud, 1914). Maybe you keep describing the same argument with a coworker or a childhood moment when you felt left out, using similar words each time. Freud saw this as meaningful: these verbal repetitions reveal patterns tied to deeper, often hidden conflicts. Note that Freud saw repetition as a resistance to remembering repressed material, but he also valued it as a way to work through unconscious conflicts (Freud, 1914). It is simultaneously a resistance and progressive. Verbal repetition helps uncover underlying issues. Every analysis has resistance—so don’t worry about repeating, as it drives progress. Simply watch for repeating words, emotions, or behaviors as clues to explore with your therapist.
For example, you might not just be annoyed about your coworker’s email—you could be repeating words or phrases that echo a past feeling from someone important, like being unheard or overlooked, now projected onto your coworker. Freud called this transference, where old emotions shape how you perceive others today, often repeating in the therapy room. Don’t stress—by repeating these transferences and stories, you’re giving your therapist a front-row seat to your inner world, helping them spot subtle shifts in your wording and emotional life over time that lead to breakthroughs in healing past wounds. Allow repeating, even if it feels like a resistance—it’s a vital part of the analysis, and in time, you’ll work through it.
The Power of Repetition Compulsion
Freud took this idea further with his concept of repetition compulsion, introduced in 1920 (Freud, 1920). He noticed people tend to repeat distressing patterns—like choosing the same type of partner or reliving old hurts—not because they’re stuck, but because the unconscious is trying to resolve something unfinished. In therapy, this might show up as retelling the same story, like one about a parent’s criticism, in nearly the same words. Each loop isn’t a waste of time; it’s your mind’s way of saying, “Hey, there’s something here we need to figure out.”
Think of it like a puzzle. Every time you repeat a story or phrase, you might uncover a new piece—maybe a feeling you didn’t notice before or a connection to another part of your life. Freud believed this process of repeating and reflecting, called working-through, helps you gradually make sense of those patterns and find freedom from them.
Why You Should Embrace the Loop
Modern psychoanalysts, building on Freud’s ideas, encourage you to speak freely, even if it means repeating the same words or stories. That tale you’ve told three times? It’s not boring—it’s rich with clues. Each retelling might reveal a new layer, like peeling an onion to get to the core of what’s driving your thoughts or behaviors. Your therapist is listening for those patterns, ready to help you connect the dots.
So, next time you catch yourself repeating in therapy, don’t stress. You’re not stuck in a rut—you’re doing the deep work Freud championed. Let go of any shame or worry about ‘sounding repetitive’—those repeated words are leading you to clarity and healing. Embrace the repetition; it’s your path to understanding yourself better.
References:
Freud, S. (1914). Remembering, Repeating, and Working-Through. Standard Edition, Vol. 12. London: Hogarth Press.
Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle. Standard Edition, Vol. 18. London: Hogarth Press.
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